


these moments make for better conversations

by belgiques



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Can you tell I love the team, Crew as Family, F/M, Gen, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 17:18:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5383949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belgiques/pseuds/belgiques
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moments in his crew's lives Mark gets to witness... and one they get to experience in his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alex Vogel

He's there when Vogel finally relocates to the US. Houston, to be exact. Alex had moved his family over from Germany for the entire duration of the Ares III training, to a NASA-owned property close to HSC. All of them had been living in the same building, primarily to make them get used to having each other around constantly. But a few days after Ares III had launched, Alex' wife and kids returned to their home country to be with their family, so they could help out with the kids while Alex was doing all sorts of crazy science in space.

Mark has always respected especially Vogel and Martinez' willingness to go back for him, because he knows how difficult it must've been to miss so much time in their children's lives. He's seen first-hand how easily the often-stoic German and wise-cracking New Yorker turn into big piles of mush at the faintest smile from one of them. They're family men, and so it's only logical that when NASA comes knocking with an offer for Vogel to lead the Chemistry division for Mars missions, everyone from the crew urges him to take the job;  _he_  leaves the decision to his family.

Mark guesses that after the whole 'bomb-that-didn't-make-everything-explode-but-saved-the-day' thing, NASA has finally realised that Ares III had pretty much the best crew ever and they were now trying to lock down as many members as possible. And with Mark probably up for a teaching job and Martinez in negotiations with Vincent Kapoor—they're well on the way.

Ultimately, Helena Vogel once again proves that she is the best wife ever—Marissa Martinez is great too, but boy, she scares Mark sometimes—and she decides that she can teach mathematics just as well in the US and follows her husband back to Houston.

But of course, she exacts revenge on every member of the crew who tried to persuade her by making them all help with the move.

"Come on, Watney, put your back into it," Martinez calls out as the two of them are loading a closet out of a U-Haul truck.

"Ha-ha, Martinez. Very nice making fun of a man with a back beyond saving," Mark replies, setting the closet on the lawn with an extra-loud groan. Lewis shakes her head with a grin and lifts the closet up again with Johanssen on the other side.

"Bested by two women, gentlemen. That has to hurt more than your back ever will," Helena quips. She takes two boxes from her husband and passes the pilot and the botanist with ease, chuckling to herself.

Mark touches his chest in mock outrage. "Alex, control your woman, for the love of God!"

"I think we learned in training that we can do no such thing with the women we know. Sometimes we must admit our defeat."

"Never!" Martinez replies, raising a fist. "We shall not surrender!"

"The women in our lives like me just fine," Beck points out, arms full of bags filled with stuffed animals. The sun was already hanging low in the sky, and with that NASA cap on, he looks like boyish charm personified.

Watney snorts. "That's because you look like that, my friend. You've corrupted them all."

Vogel claps the doctor on the back good-naturedly and then trails off with boxes of his own.

"How about less trash talk and more working?" Johanssen loudly suggests from the front door.

Martinez grumbles, choosing a couple of chairs to move inside. "If you think that's trash talk, you're in for a wild ride tonight, Johanssen!"

After a few hours, the trucks outside the Vogel residence are empty and Alex and Helena's five perfectly bilingual children are released onto the lawn, just as Mark and Commander Lewis— _Melissa_ , now—are closing up. She launches towards them, growling playfully. Three of them grab her around the neck and she laughs out loud, a sound not unfamiliar to the rest of the crew, but loud enough to make Watney smile. It reminds him of how warm a person she is, something he's got to witness in spades over the years they've known each other. She's had to work twice as hard to get to where she is, but she's never resented anyone for it. She just kept going. And while there were definitely some machos who had refused to serve a woman after she was announced as commander, for Mark it had been one of the reasons to apply for Ares III.

"Is everything inside?" the eldest asks, a boy the spitting image of his father.

Melissa nods, accepting the high five he offers her. "Do you guys like the house?"

Mark squats down beside Lewis when everyone yells affirmatively, except for Lily, the youngest of them. The blonde girl scuffs her feet across the ground, looking down.

"What do you think, Lily?"

The little girl looks up at him shyly and mumbles, "I thought Daddy was going to buy us a Disney castle. He promised me when I was little."

That answer takes both former astronauts by surprise, reminding them that no matter how big the discoveries they have made, there's nothing as wonderous as the innocent look on life that a child has. And incidentally, Mark actually remembers this conversation, since it was one father and daughter Vogel had during one of their "literally-everybody-is-included-even-Annie-Montrose-and-Vincent-Kapoor" dinners. Melissa must recall it too, judging by the small grin she gives him.

She urges the little girl closer to her and grabs her hands, getting her attention. "I'm sorry you're disappointed, sweetie, but do you want to know what I think? I think your daddy must have thought that you are way too special to live in someone else's castle. He probably wants you to have your own."

"But it doesn't look like one," she insists sadly.

Mark has to suppress a smile when he glances at the new Vogel residence—it wasn't exactly a dump either.

"Well," he replies, getting an idea, "a castle's really big, you know. Your dad probably wants to be as close to you as possible and not lose anyone in a big castle. You're all very dear to him."

To his surprise, a sudden smile overtakes the girl's features. "My daddy's the best."

"He sure is. Why don't you guys go inside and tell him that? Go on," he suggests, and the lot of them shriek as they bolt through the front door.

Melissa stands up and stands there smiling at him like an idiot. 

"What?"

"That was really sweet, Mark," she replies slyly. 

"I know, I have to make sure that doesn't happen too often. I might get a reputation."

His back protests a little when he gets up—those damn rocks and that damn Hab breach and goddamn everything. His friend's smile falters for a second. "You okay?"

"Fine. Just acts up sometimes. Maybe I  _am_  turning into an old man."

The concern on her face isn't quite gone when she deadpans, "Well,  _you_  are the oldest of us all."

He narrows his eyes at her.  _Youths_. "Is that your MO? Compliment a guy and then go for a blow below the belt? I have to ask Robert about that."

She chuckles now, finally taking the spotlight off his health, and loops her arm through his. Really, they've been back on Earth for almost six months, and more than just colleagues and friends for much longer—what should you call a group of people who saved your life while risking theirs and going against one of the most powerful organisations in the world to do it? Anyway, they've been  _all that_  for so long and he still hasn't gotten used to their Commander being this affectionate. They all like it, though. She often let herself miss all the fun during Ares III because she had to keep them all in check. Off-duty Lewis could be  _very_  sarcastic.

"Come on, Grandpa. Let's help Helena with dinner," she says, nudging him with her elbow as they walk across the lawn.

Two hours later, the kids are off to bed and the adults crack open another bottle of wine. There were still some boxes strewn across the living room, but the essentials were there, and with all the laughter sounding through the kitchen and dining room, it was more than enough.

"Oh, Melissa, Rick, you should've brought your spouses along. It's been such a long time since we all sat in that family room to see you guys land," Helena says, squeezing her husband's hand.

Mark scoffs lightly, looking around the table. "What, and let me be the only single loser in this house? No, thanks."

"Relax, Watney, the kids are single too," Johanssen reminds him, her face all mischief.

"Actually," Alex counters, "Levi has a girlfriend. Sorry, Mark."

The others laugh, but Mark just gives his European friend the finger in return.

"Marissa is still not too happy with me, so..." Martinez tells them, squirming a bit in his seat.

This time it's Mark's turn to grin. "Well, you did agree to another mission to Mars after just finishing the longest one anyone will probably ever have."

"You still in the doghouse, Rick?" Beck asks; like all of them, he knows how vengeful Marissa can be towards her husband. In a very loving way, of course.

"Yeah..." he admits reluctantly, throwing his hands up in frustration, "It's the shortest Ares mission of all, and I feel like she's more upset now than when I told her we were going back for Dr. Botany."

Everyone's lips quirk up at that nickname, given to Mark one day on the Hermes when, during his physical therapy, he was complaining about how Beck was the only one allowed to be called doctor just because he had an MD, and the rest of them with a PhD—Mark, Alex and Melissa—could just go to hell.

"Well, maybe that's because you just got back and you want to go return already," Johanssen supplies. "Way to make a woman feel wanted, Major."

Rick visibly winces at that comment, and then only manages a weak "Oh" in response. Mark claps his back. "May I suggest some flowers and a very, very nice restaurant? Take the kids on a shopping spree? I think it's time to surrender, Major."

Beck and Johanssen shoot each other a glance at their pilot's slightly worried face. Beck tries to reassure him. "Hey, you're lucky she loves you so much. You'll be fine. And you're giving your little ones another reason to call you their hero."

"Thanks, Chris," Rick replies gratefully, and the tension leaves his features. Mark shakes his head at Beck, ever the hopeless romantic.

"Speaking of children," Alex starts, looking between Melissa and Mark. "Mine came in earlier and almost tackled me to the ground. What happened outside?"

Melissa grins mischievously at the botanist, certainly planning to expose his sappy ways.

"Watney just couldn't shut up about how great you are," she says, making the others chuckle. "No, in all seriousness, he was really great with them."

Yup, evil, that one.

Mark feels his face heat up when everyone looks at him approvingly. "Lily just needed a bit of cheering up, that's all. A tip from Uncle Mark: never tell a little girl you're going to get her a castle. She  _will_  remember."

Alex smiles sheepishly when his wife throws him a berating glance, and Mark rolls his eyes when the others just won't stop  _staring_.

"Before you ask, which of course you will because you are nosy little shits," he starts, and when Beth scoffs loudly, he tries really hard to keep the smile off his face, because damn it, he can't stay mad at these guys, "No, there'll be no children for me in the foreseeable future. I like being the cool uncle plenty, thanks very much."

"We're sorry, Mark," Beck replies, "but you're so great with people, it just seems logical that you'd have a family."

"Yes, well, I might have to find a wife, then," and before anyone can tell him how much of a catch he is, he adds, "I'm not nearly as old as you think. I still have some time before I wither away, you guys."

"Hey, why don't you ask out Annie Montrose?" Rick suggests, and everyone bursts out laughing.

"I think she's still mad at you for the whole picture debacle, no?" Vogel recalls, making everyone laugh even harder.

"What did she think, that I was just going to stand there as if I was getting my driver's license renewed?"

"A wave or a normal thumbs up would've been fine," Helena tells him, but Mark just waves it away.

"Besides, I'm not sure Mark could handle Annie. She's a badass," Beth counters, and this time he directs a shocked look at the sysop.

"Beth, how you wound me! I'm all for strong women!"

"It's why he likes us so much, right, Watney?" Melissa interjects, grinning again.

"Yes! Honestly, Beth, is this Beck corrupting you? You know, if we're going to talk about anyone's love life, the obvious move is to go for you two! If anyone's moving forward, it's them," he says, pointing at the couple accusingly.

Rick leans closer to his friend and grabs his shoulders playfully. "The thing is, they're not as easy to agitate as you are."

Mark shoves Martinez in return and grumbles.  _Agitated_. He wasn't agitated easily—he was a space pirate, for Christ's sake.

That was it. He was done with all of these suckers.

Spoiler alert: he wasn't.


	2. Rick Martinez

 Mark sighs as he glances at the clock and sees it strike five past three. His students had all gone. He takes off his glasses and puts them on the desk in front of him for a moment, rubbing a hand over his eyes. Man, teaching is hard. Almost as taxing as trying to plant potatoes on Mars. Young people just have so much energy, and _questions_. He knows he's being a nag, because he actually loves imparting people with his wisdom, botany and engineering as well as Mars experience. But he didn't sleep well the previous night while the astronauts-to-be had been brimming with excitement, because guess what—Rick Martinez is being launched back into space today.

He can see the launch pad from the large window in this classroom, and the stress is probably slowly killing him. If this is what his parents went through when he left with Ares III, he really needs to buy them another house, somewhere relaxing, like the Bahamas or Hawaii.

Mark had seen Vogel over lunch, and neither of them had been very forthcoming with conversation—which was fine, really, because any silence between was more than comfortable by now. He hadn't seen any of the others yet because they had been doing behind-the-scenes work for Ares IV all day. As it turns out, none of them were ready to leave NASA behind, which had led to the sort of last-minute appointment of Dr. Chris Beck as lead physician for Ares IV on Earth—after all, he was the one who had kept the whole crew healthy for more than 500 sols and helped Mark recover. Beth chose to head up the IT department and was now an IT consultant for Ares IV, so the two lovebirds work together regularly. And last but not least, their commander, who was now training the new generation of commanders and top recruits in addition to her new role of guidance counsellor for all female NASA recruits, which all of them thought was a perfect fit for her. 

Mark knew that none of them would have been able to stay away from him.

He looks at the clock again, which now reads quarter past three. Time to go.

Liftoff is at five, but because they're Ares III, they get to see the new crew off together with their families. Normally, the previous crew helps the new one with training, but since Ares III was still en route to Earth during Ares IV prep, they didn't know the crew as well as they'd liked. Still, he was glad they got to say goodbye to Rick.

After going through security and a health scan, he's led to the conference room just beside the 'send-off room', as it's been dubbed over the years. Mark knows the astronauts' families are in there already and are being granted a bit of privacy before Ares III, Kapoor and Teddy Sanders walk in.

Alex and Beth are the first to join him, exchanging hugs before sitting down at the table. "I didn't sleep at all last night," Beth says promptly, and Mark exhales in relief.

"Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

"You're definitely not," Vogel adds, pinching the bridge of his nose, "luckily I had to concentrate on my work."

"I can't even imagine what Marissa is feeling right now. I haven't given her enough credit for being mad at Rick. I want to punch him in the face right now."

"Beth, such violent behaviour from such a small person," Beck comments, and the three turn around to realize that the group is complete now.

"Worried?" Lewis asks, seeing their grave faces. None of them answers but their expressions say enough. Lewis and Beck sit down and she curls a lock of hair behind her ear, looking down briefly before scanning the room.

"Listen. I know it's unsettling and scary that one of us is going off on their own, but we all know that Rick is as good as they come. There's no doubt about that. So we have to accept that this is what he wanted to do, even if we didn't. And he's probably more scared than any of us. So it's our duty as his friends to be positive and distract him, okay?"

"Yes, Commander," they all say in unison, grinning knowingly after another one of Lewis' famous speeches—and damn it, they always work. She smiles despite herself and shakes her head. "Knuckleheads."

Mark gasps. "Verbal abuse by our commander! Gross misuse of power. Where's Teddy so I can file a complaint?"

Humour has always been one of the binding factors of their group, and the tension in the room disappears with their chuckles. They try small talk next, hoping that the idle conversation releases the remaining nerves. Soon, though, Vincent comes knocking on the door and they follow him into the huge room where the six crewmembers are shaking hands with Teddy Sanders and Mitch Henderson, who have to leave for Mission Control asap.

Mark notices that only three of the crew members have partners standing beside them, and Rick seems to be the only one with kids. Looking at the other five, Mark thinks he must also be the oldest of them. _Payback time_.

Marissa spots them first when their superiors have moved on to the newest astronauts and she gives Rick's hand a shake, nudging her head towards them, his face promptly breaking out into a huge smile. 

The ladies reach him first and unabashedly plant a kiss on his cheek. (Has Mark mentioned that both off-duty Lewis _and_ off-duty Johanssen are more affectionate?)

"Watch out, Marissa. For some inexplicable reason, Rick is suddenly popular with the ladies. I'm thinking voodoo," Mark says, hugging her for a moment.

"I've always been popular with the ladies, but only had eyes for one," Martinez replies easily. His wife beams at him, everyone else chuckles.

"That was very smooth," Vogel comments, tipping his imaginary hat to his friend. _Those Europeans, always trying to be so damn sophisticated._

"Sometimes the charm just comes naturally and I can't help it."

Beck and Watney groan loudly while Vogel just nods appreciatively.

"Your charm might be your last redeeming quality, my friend, because you are now the oldest Ares crew member," Mark tells him smugly. "I'm officially off the hook."

"Or _retired_ is an other way to put it," Beck says, equally smug.

"You know, you guys are always ganging up on me."

"Again, because you're such an easy target," Lewis reminds him gently. 

"Just a warning, Rick, you get no respect for being the oldest and wisest astronaut on board. I should know."

"We do respect you," Alex says, "Just not to your face."

"Your ego is big enough as it is," Beth adds with a wink. She turns fully towards Rick then, her face becoming slightly more serious. "How are you feeling?"

He smiles lightly, sobering too. "A little nervous, as with every launch, but I'm excited to finish what we started. Really. Don't worry about me, guys."

"We weren't—"

"You seem to forget we all know each other much too well. Even our commander has a tell," Rick counters, raising an eyebrow at Lewis, who smiles self-deprecatingly.

"It's just going to be weird without you around," Beck says, finally vocalising what everyone was thinking.

"Trust me, it's weird without you guys too. I don't like admitting it, but they are in fact younger than me and most of them are more focused on the job," he explains, nevertheless smiling at his new crewmates huddled around the directors. "But I think it'll be good for me to be the mentor. You're all doing it too, for that matter, so I'm just continuing the trend."

None of them have really realised it, but that doesn't make it less true. In just a year they've gone from being in the midst of it all to stepping to the sidelines. Even Chris and Beth, who had been wise beyond their years to start with, have matured considerably despite being the youngest of their group. They all stand their for a minute, just looking at each other, knowing that no other friends in their lives would ever come close to what they are.

"You've already proven that you're the best pilot in NASA history, so don't be a hero and try to best yourself, okay?" Melissa warns him, squeezing his shoulder briefly.

"Hey, we have a Mexican, a Chinese guy and twin astronauts. We're already pretty remarkable," Rick replies, barely containing his laughter.

Right on cue, Annie steals Melissa and Beth away for a few pictures with the female astronauts and two female Commanders of Ares III and IV.

"My girls look up to all of them, you know. They've been more interested in Lewis and Johanssen and now the new recruits then they are in me," Martinez admits as the four men watch the women chat.

"They could do much worse, as rolemodels go," Vogel replies, grinning widely.

"Yeah, about that," Beck interrupts, lowering his voice and stepping closer. "I have to tell you guys something."

The others look at him in wonder, not used to seeing their infallible doctor friend so nervous. He takes something out of his pocket and when he opens his hand they can clearly see—

Rick gasps. "You're proposing to Beth?"

The four men quickly glance at Johanssen, where she's still talking with Annie and the twin astronauts. Lewis catches their movement and frowns questioningly. They hurriedly huddle back together, looking at Chris expectantly.

"That's great!" Mark whispers excitedly. They might not be together for so long, but they've handled the 'for better and for worse' like no one else and they haven't killed each other after living together for months. They're good to go. "So, do you want to run your speech by us very quickly?"

"That's the thing. See, I do want to ask Beth to marry me," Chris begins, then suddenly turning towards Rick. " _But_ , assuming that she says yes, I want you to be here for all of it, Rick. The planning, the fighting, the picking out stuff—all of it. So I was wondering if you want to hold on to this for me. I'll propose when you get back, and not a minute before."

Silence falls over the foursome, and wow, they really are the most sentimental bunch of people ever. They really should stop doing these kinds of things. (Spoiler alert: they won't.)

Rick looks gobsmacked, and he clearly has to blink furiously to keep his composure. Alex smacks his shoulder lightly, smiling proudly at Chris.

"So what do you say, Major?"

Martinez shakes Beck's outstretched hand firmly, taking the box from him with a face-splitting smile. "It's my honour, Chris."

"Thanks, man. Please, _please_ try not to lose it."

"No way in hell. I promise."

"What are you boys gossiping about over there?" the fiancé-to-be suddenly asks, walking over again with Melissa.

Beck looks momentarily alarmed, but Mark reacts quickly and takes something out of his pocket, looking pointedly at Rick while he quickly stashes the velvet box away in his jacket. "I have a present for Martinez, but I'd rather have given it to him without you ladies' sappy comments."

"Hey, we can't help it if you're the one going around and doing the sappy things," Beth replies, grabbing him by the shoulders. The four men glance at each other for a moment, trying not to grin. "But by all means, continue."

Mark squints threateningly at her, and then awkwardly clears his throat as he realises he's just backed himself into a corner. He had been planning to give this in private, but of course he never thinks things through.

He quickly puts the crucifix in Rick's hand. Everyone is silent for a moment and _goddamn_ , he is in fact probably the biggest sap of them all. These losers are still rubbing off on him.

"I got you a new one, since I kind of wrecked your previous one. So, sorry for that, but thanks for letting me use it to blow myself up and save my life."

"Anytime, Watney. Thanks, man, I appreciate it," Rick replies, smile even wider.

"I guess I owe Jesus a favour now too."

"Maybe if you ask out Annie he'll let it go," Rick suggests slyly. Mark's eyes widen and he immediately looks around to make sure she hasn't heard, punching Martinez in the shoulder. The rest of them just snigger, even Marissa is grinning. Mark wonders why he had even been worried about Rick to begin with. But not really. 

"Not cool, man. You all need to let this go."

"Never. You two are endgame," Beck promises, and they're lucky that Teddy approaches them for a final goodbye, because he was _this_ close to handing out some bitch slaps. And after such a nice moment, damn them.

Teddy's departure also signals that time is almost up for them, so that their families can be the last to say goodbye. They all shake hands with the other Ares IV crew members, wishing them good luck and a fun trip.

Rick hugs Chris and then Alex, whispering something to both of them which Mark can't hear. From the corner of his eye, he can see that Marissa is struggling to keep her emotions under control.

Melissa and Beth have the same struggle when they take their turn. It's barely audible, but Mark still hears him ask them to look out for Marissa. "As much as I love them, those guys aren't to be trusted around my gorgeous wife," he adds, making them chuckle. Rick never did like crying women.

Mark is next, and it's clear they're two peas in a pod, always trying to lighten the mood with a joke.

"You've got the ring, so it's only fair that I'll be best man. Remember that, Martinez."

It works, because Rick laughs out loud and mouths back, " _Never_. It's on."

He shakes his head with a chuckle and moves to hug his friend. "See you in eight months, buddy."

The five of them move back as Marissa wraps her arms around her husband's waist, and as a final gesture, Lewis steps forward and salutes Martinez with a smile on her face, the others following her example, military ranks be damned. Marissa wipes a tear from her cheek when Rick returns the gesture, and the group turns around and leaves just as Rick's kids come barging in to tackle their dad.

\---

When Major Rick Martinez announces that the Ares IV was successfully launched and is on track for Hermes, everyone at Mission Control stands up and cheers; Vincent pops open a bottle of champagne with the rest of Ares III and the Martinez family, though only the former party end up quite drunk at the end of the evening.

When Rick wakes up for the first time back in space, it's because Diana Ross'  _I'm Coming Out_ is blaring through his bunk and he can't seem to turn it off. The message on the display next to his bed reads:  _a gift from Ares III—good luck trying to turn it off without Johanssen_.

And when Rick returns to Houston eighth months later of a successful mission, after quarantine and debriefing, when he sees his friends again, he hands the engagement ring back to Chris Beck and he proposes to a very surprised and teary Beth Johanssen.

Rick and Mark both shout "I call best man!" when she says _yes_.


	3. Chris Beck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, guys, thank you so much to all of you who are still giving kudos to this story, even if it's been three months since I've updated (boo, me!). I promise I'm definitely not giving up on this story; this chapter gave a lot of trouble because I knew what I wanted it to be, but I had some difficulties getting it written. But here it is, 3,000 words to make it up to you all! Drop a comment if you want to and stick around for the next one, which is centered around our favourite Commander :)

"Just come out already," Mark yells impatiently at Beck through the door. Rick and Alex are a few feet away, the former leaning against a doorframe and the latter with his hands in his pockets, frowning.

"Yeah, man, it's 2042. We don't judge," Rick jokes, earning a glare from his two friends for his efforts.

Mark sighed and turned back to the bathroom. "Come on. Beth is waiting. You're going to break her heart if you don't show."

"And Lewis or Mitch will probably, nay, _most definitely_ , break your face."

"Rick, you're not helping."

He rolls his eyes and flops back onto the couch. "Well, he's being an idiot! I was much younger than him when I got married and I was fine!"

"You mean when you hid in your nephews' treehouse and refused to come down?" Alex replies dryly, and their pilot looks thorougly  _busted_.

He narrows his eyes and points a finger at Vogel. "Who did you bribe to get that information?"

"No one. Marissa occasionally gives me some ammunition to keep you in check."

"That is... I don't even have a word for that kind of betrayal," Rick replies, but no one has to remind him that he was in the dog house for a long, long time after he decided to do Ares IV. He's probably bought every flower you can find in the Tri-state area.

Mark rolls his eyes and knocks on the door again. He can hear Beck slide against it, probably sitting down now. Probably creasing his suit. Beth would strangle them both if she knew.

"Buddy, what are you hiding for? You have a gorgeous, smart woman waiting to marry you," Mark told him, making a broad gesture waving to the general direction of the room the ladies were getting ready, even though the groom-to-be couldn't see it. "You look like you do, and you're both succesful and pretty rich. I mean, my life is  _considerably_  worse and I'm here trying to convince you? That's some next-level bullshit if you ask me."

Alex and Rick were barely containing their chuckles, and Mark simply glared at them.

"I... overheard something earlier," Beck's voice sounded from inside the bathroom, almost sounding hoarse. This surprised Martinez and Vogel as well, and they stepped closer to Mark, the smirks gone from their faces momentarily.

"What did you hear? From who?" Mark asked, confused.

" _Whom_ ," Rick pointed out quietly.

"I swear to God, Rick."

"Just reminding you!"

"Beth's pregnant," Chris interjected, his tone of voice unreadable.

The three men on the outside were stunned for a moment, and Mark had no doubt that they were all picturing their tiny scientist with a big belly, or even crazier, with a tiny  _baby_. Not that Chris and Beth wouldn't be the best parents ever, because they definitely would be. That just made Beck's whole cold feet thing even weirder.

"And you're freaking out about that because..."

Silence fell over the room until Beck spoke again. "What if she's just marrying me because she feels she has to?"

"That's the most ludicrous words to ever come out of your mouth and you know it," Rick spoke up fiercely. "You know as well as I do that Beth would never do that. She has way too much respect for herself  _and_  for you."

"And who even knows what you overheard, my friend," Alex added a bit gentler.

Mark nodded. "That's right. This isn't a  _Friends_  episode."

Vogel and Martinez stared at him dumbly. Mark sighed. "That old sitcom? About those friends living in New York?"

Still nothing.

"Never mind. I forgot you guys are younger and clearly culturally deprived," he commented, and both men grinned at him. "Anyway, what I'm saying is that our lives aren't part of a TV show. This is reality and you need to get your head out of your ass, Chris Beck."

Rick threw him an impressed look. "I hate saying this, but Watney's right. Look, man, if you really want to be sure, I'll just go and ask."

"Are you crazy?" Mark replies incredulously. "Go up to her, 'Hey Beth, I have no sane reason for asking this, but are you pregnant by any chance?' What a way to insult the bride on her wedding day, Martinez."

"You should know by now that Rick is obviously subtlety personified, Mark," Vogel counters, grinning widely.

"I can do it!" Rick protests, and after a few more minutes of discussion and eye-rolling and silence on Beck's side of the door, he relents and lets his friend set off to interrogate his soon-to-be wife. If he would still be so lucky.

\---

"He wants to know what?!" Beth's cousin has to restrain herself to keep her voice down. She casts a hasty look at Beth, who's standing there chatting with Melissa, Annie and a few friends, a smile on her face and her eyes shining. Rick regrets his offer to come here immediately.

Their former Commander, being as perceptive as ever, sees Lea hovering by the door and covertly extracts herself from the group of women, trying not to draw attention to Lea's not amused expression fixed on Martinez, and hoping Chris' sister won't get wind of any of them.

"Rick, what's wrong?" she asks apprehensively, frowning at him. "Don't tell me Beck's got cold feet."

Martinez grimaces, and for Lewis that's information enough. Lea scoffs. "Seriously?"

"He thinks... He says he overheard Beth saying something that's shaken him up," he replies, shrugging lightly.

"And what might that be?"

Rick's face contorts under the regret he feels for having volunteered for this increase exponentially. "He thinks that Beth's pregnant."

Lea and Melissa look incredulous for a moment, then share a knowing glance, and now Rick is  _totally_  confused. "Is it true?"

"No!" Lea exclaims, checking whether Beth hadn't heard her, but indignance plain on her face. "And even if she was, would that matter?"

"He just wants to make sure she's marrying him for the right reasons, I think," Rick hastily says, but of course that doesn't make things much better.

"Is he having cold feet or  _going insane_? Because it sounds like the second one."

"What I mean is," Rick starts, desperately willing his brain to pick the right words for this. "I think he wants to make sure she doesn't think she  _has_  to marry him because of it."

Lea and Melissa say nothing for a moment, their features softening a tad. Then Lewis sighs. "She's really not, Rick. Come on, I'll talk to him," she offers, urging Lea to go back to her cousin, who adds, "Maybe knock some sense into him as well."

Lewis grins at her and follows Rick back to the floor the men's rooms are on. Mark looks up in surprise when Melissa enters and goes straight for the bathroom door, knocking gently. "Chris, can you come in here, please?"

Her tone is gentle but firm, and none of the men are therefore surprised when the door finally opens to reveal their usually pretty level-headed doctor. He sheepishly glances at Mark, Rick and Alex, but for once, they all hold back their comments. Melissa Lewis still tends to have that effect on them.

"What's going on, Chris? This isn't like you, all this doubt and hesitation," she says, her eyes piercing. He sighs, falling onto the couch and sliding his hands through his hair.

"I... I don't know, really. You know I've never really liked being in the spotlight, and now there's all this pressure on us to make this day perfect and to feel perfectly about it. And that makes me really uncomfortable," he admits, slumping a bit. "Maybe we should've just eloped."

"And deny Annie the pleasure of making a big deal out of it?" Melissa asks with a grin. It wasn't like her to use PR as an argument, good or bad, and Mark had a feeling she was going somewhere with this. "She would've murdered you in the most brutal way possible."

"She is a very resourceful lady," Alex attests, nodding his head.

"That's just it! I want us to do this for the right reasons, not... Not because we feel like we have to." And so they're back to what Lewis was really here for. She cast her eyes down for a second and smiled–that hadn't taken long. She stepped closer to Beck and carefully sat down onto the coffee table in front of the couch he was sitting on, mindful of her dress.

"You know why Annie even did this? Because she knows she can, because you are  _real_. You don't pretend, you don't compromise. You two might perhaps be the most relatable people of us all. You're just two people who fell in love, even though that happened to have been in space. You don't want to be the centre of attention, but you deserve to be," she says, her voice clear and warm. "Beth wouldn't be doing this if she didn't want to, and neither would you. If anyone can make marriage work, it's you two. So just be yourself, forget about everybody else but you and Beth, and you'll be fine."

Chris' smile had spread across his face as Lewis talked, and he didn't reply at first, only nodding, until he finally manages a soft thank you. She pats his knee for a moment, smile turning into a sort of mischievous grin. "You might've been freaking out about a baby before, and while I'm sure you'll be susceptible to the idea sooner rather than later, it won't be in nine months," she assures him. "Beth's waiting for you in a wedding dress because she wants to be your wife. She's not pregnant. She just wants to share this one thing with everyone she loves."

Chris seemed to have come into his own a bit more already, because he didn't sigh in relief or anything, he only nodded in acceptance. Then, still, his brow furrowed. "But then what--"

"Beth's not pregnant, Chris," she repeats, chuckling lightly. "I am."

You could hear a pin drop in the room as the three men of Ares III process this news. They had always prided themselves on the fact that they had never treated their Commander differently or less respectfully because she is a woman—on the contrary, they had always known she was a trailblazer. But because of that, they could occasionally forget that she is someone who can be vulnerable and wants something beside an albeit very successful career. Seeing her today with more make up and in a less business-like dress than they were used to, makes this even clearer.

"Really?" Mark manages ultimately, his voice cracking annoyingly halfway through the word.

Lewis laughs quietly at their stunned faces. "Well, yes, I still have a uterus, you know."

The men glance briefly at each other and then break out cheering as one, catching her unawares as they all try to hug her first. Their laughs echo through the room, and Melissa is very nearly giggling. 

"Our first baby!" Mark exclaims happily, squeezing her tightly, then stepping back suddenly as he wonders whether he should be doing that now. She opens her mouth to reassure him when Rick interrupts like the smart-ass he is. "Pretty sure it's not yours, Watney."

Mark punches his friend's shoulder in return. "I meant Ares III, asshole."

Beck is the last one to wrap his arms around Lewis. "That's wonderful news for you and Robert, Melissa. Congrats."

She smiles sweetly at him in thanks and then raises an eyebrow. "I'm surprised you can restrain yourself. I know you'll want to study this."

Beck shrugs. "I know how to pick my moments."

Rick snorts. "Yeah, like choosing your wedding day to have a crisis of faith?"

Chris ignores him, thinking not about possible studies but his friend's health, and how he could make sure that their long stay in space wouldn't have an effect on mother and child. During their debrief and medical observation period, every one of them had been monitored carefully, and no problems had been found in any of them, but he would see to it that it stayed that way.

"I wasn't going to tell anyone today, obviously," she says, huffing a bit, "I mean, it's safe to tell, but I didn't want to steal your thunder. I got nauseous this morning and Beth guessed. I told Annie  _I_  would murder  _her_  if she makes it public without my explicit consent."

"Yeah, I think she won't dare defy you. She knows you could take her," Alex comments, and the other men nod drily, which makes her chuckle again.

Apparently, this baby is already making Melissa very cheerful and relaxed, so Mark is definitely a fan.

"Obviously, I will do the same to you losers if you tell anyone."

"Duly noted," Rick replies excitedly, a twinkle in his eye, and Mark realizes just in time what he's about to yell out.

"I call godfather!" they exclaim in unison, and Lewis only rolls her eyes.

\---

Lewis' news and speech seems to have brought Beck back to the world of the sane. He smiles, reassured of the fact that he and Beth are still on the same wavelength, and puts his tux on with a careful eye for the details. They banter some more, trying to distract themselves from their irrational nerves, until Annie comes knocking and ushers them out towards the gardens. Of course she would try and take control of things in the end.

The sun is shining brightly and the pair's family and friends are all seated, chattering quietly. Melissa, Lea and Chris' sister Jessica are already in place, and one of Beth's college friends is playing the violin already. As Mark, Rick and Alex walk along the aisle with Chris in tow, the botanist thinks that Chris has every right to freak out. There's a reasonable amount of people, and he has to pour his heart out in front of all of them. Mark is glad to just be standing on the side watching the whole thing and being ready to shoot daggers at people who have the audacity to pay attention to anything else.

A rather modern and even more stripped-down version of 'The Wedding March' starts playing and everyone falls quiet. He sees Beck exhale quickly and shake himself one last time, but then his eyes naturally fall to where Beth has just walked out into the garden.

She looks  _stunning._  But then again, he hadn't expected anything less from her. Their tiny friend has always had delicate features, which they often tease her about, but at the occasional black-tie event, Mark had witnessed the hesitant start of Chris Beck losing his cool around Beth Johanssen. Her dress is elegant and certainly not outlandish, but has more details than maybe people would've thought Beth would like. It reminds Mark a little of the dress in that Cinderella movie that came out in, like, 2015 or something, which he now remembers to be one of Beth's favourites growing up. Probably wasn't a coincidence then.

Her smile is radiant as she walks arm in arm with her dad, who looks like he might burst with joy. Mark can't help but smile like a loon as well at the sight. He sees the same expression on Rick and Alex' faces, but Chris looks like he's trying really hard to compose himself. That sucker is so in love.

Beth's father gives his daughter away with a pat on Chris' upper arm and a chuckle at the look on his nearly-son-in-law's face. Beth does the same as she takes Chris' hand, reaching up and kissing his cheek.

"So, you freaked out, huh?"

Chris freezes in alarm, but she just raises an eyebrow. "It's my job to notice when things are out of the ordinary. No matter what Rick thinks, he's just not a stealthy guy," she says, glancing in his direction and seeing him briefly fiddling with his pocket square.

Chris is about to open his mouth when she likely shakes her head. "I knew you'd be here. Even the smartest man I know can question himself sometimes."

Now it's his turn to kiss her cheek, as he gently rubs his thumb over her hand. "I love you," he mouths, and she does the same. Then the Rent-a-Priest in the form of Chris' best friend starts speaking and it's a roller coaster of emotions.

And okay, maybe Mark cries a little when the doctor and the IT specialist exchange their vows with the most blissful smiles on their faces. (And maybe Rick does, too.) And maybe he claps much too loudly when they  _put a ring on it_  and they're pronounced husband and wife. Hey, Teddy Sanders even  _cheers_.

Soon, there's hugs and then champagne everywhere and he can't remember seeing everyone so uncomplicatedly happy (the anxiety-ridden happiness from his and Martinez' returns don't count). He shakes Robert Lewis' hand fiercely when he sees him, and by his face, he already knows that all of them know.

And okay, maybe he cries a little again when the two newlyweds give their speeches at the reception, talking about how out of his depth Beth had made Chris feel, about colleagues turned family, how small the Hermes had  _actually_  been and how they had learned to never give up when things got difficult, no matter how bad the odds are. It didn't help that everyone suddenly looks at him after that.

"You know, we wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for me," Mark says when it's his turn, and a laugh sweeps through the room, most of them familiar with that story. "Beth and Chris are both incredibly smart people, but when it came to the matters of the heart, they clearly needed some guidance. And as I was struggling to survive, it was high time for them to get their heads out of their asses." Another round of laughter.

"Luckily, they did. And as we were all on our way back home, not one of us was spared from the flu or some similar infection, because of course we had been exposed to one another much longer than any other group of astronauts in history. But let me tell you, nothing made us sicker than seeing these two together," he says, tipping his glass towards the pair shaking their head as the room laughs again.

"But now that we're back on Earth, they can be annoyingly adorable on their own time, and I for one haven't got a single doubt that they'll do so for a very long time to come. They both went above and beyond for me, so I'll go above and beyond to make sure they take life and the world by storm. To Chris and Beth," he concludes, raising his glass as everyone follows suit.

"Didn't have the emotional stability for more sappiness, did you?" Rick asks when he sits back down.

Mark scoffs. "I've become overexposed to it, hanging out with all of you knuckleheads. I used to have a hide like a rhinoceros."

"And now you just have a face like a rhinosceros."

"To use the words as made famous by Hugh Jackman in his  _X-Men First Class_  cameo: Rick, go fuck yourself."

And okay, maybe he gets misty-eyed again when Mr and Mrs Beck have their first dance as husband and wife. But hey, he'd cried when he'd received his crew's first messages on Mars, so he figures he resigned himself to his fate a long time ago.


	4. Melissa Lewis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. Has it really been six months?! I'm apalled by myself (but life has been very busy having just graduated from college) but very grateful that apparently people are still discovering this story! Believe me, those likes and comments do really help speed things along - it's like a coat of love and guilt wrapping around me. ;) But rest assured, I have every intention of finishing this story. Thanks for sticking with me! Here's a looong chapter as a reward!

A few months after Beck and Johanssen's wedding, things have fortunately settled down a bit for the former Ares III crew. As they had all suspected, Rick's outing with Ares IV would remain his last, and he's followed in Lewis' footsteps and is now teaching the young recruits the ins and outs of piloting.

Mark would say that his life is starting to become a bit of a Hallmark movie—all of his friends have ended up close to him—but then again, his life has been a scifi thriller and a drama for too long. So he might as well join in. That's why he is getting a house closer to NASA and all of them, a decision he might regret in the future, when Vogel's kids finally realize he's the cool one and never want to leave Uncle Mark's place to go back to theirs.

It's just as well, because his house and 'assets' were frozen when he 'died'. A grown-ass man can only live with his parents for so long to hide from the press. By now, they've mostly forgotten about him anyhow. Life goes on. Luckily, that includes all of theirs.

That is how Mark finds himself spending the afternoon with a very pregnant Melissa Lewis, driving around Houston looking at houses. He's taken up some of his forced leave—he doesn't consider his stint on Mars as work, thank you very much, but he still got the deserved amount leave for the whole thing—and fortunately for him, Melissa doesn't have to work either.

Because she's very pregnant and doctor Beck refuses to take any chances.

"My OB-GYN has assured me that I'm perfectly fine, but Chris wouldn't budge," she tells him as they're pulling up to the second house.

It's very hot outside as summer's in full swing, and he can tell that it's bothering her a bit. The ever-so-composed Melissa Lewis, huffing and sighing when Mark opens the car door. He feels for her, because she hates being fussed over as much as he does, and she made sure the NASA doctors didn't do too much of it when he got back. He, however, can't really do anything because it's not just her they have to take into account anymore.

"He's just concerned," he reminds her gently, taking her hand and helping her climb out. "This is unprecedented."

She rolls her eyes at him and he has to resist a chuckle, because he can imagine she's tired of hearing that.

"You can roll your eyes at me all you want, Commander, but you know it's true. No one knows the effects of our Mars trip on a pregnancy," he adds. She straightens her top over her belly and stays silent; he has her there. Also, he loves that she still lets them call her by her mission title as a nickname. It usually seems to soften her up.

She sighs. Bingo. "I know. He's looking out for me. Still doesn't mean I have to like it. I could've gone to work for a little while longer."

He laughs. "If you had it your way, you'd still be working during the delivery."

"Don't you start. You can go and sit with Robert, Mark Watney."

"Well, he's a smart guy, so it'd be my pleasure."

"Sure, this is what I need," Melissa says, sliding her sunglasses into her hair, "all you guys ganging up on me."

"Hey, bros before hoes," he tries, holding out his arms in a triumphant gesture.

"You call me a ho one more time, Watney, you're going to wish we'd left you on Mars."

"That's just mean."

"Let's just go inside before I melt out here... Or before I strangle you," she orders, already on her way in, completely forgetting to assess the outside of the house.

It was nice, he thought. Brown bricks, not too big or ostentatious, but no porch, which was a bummer. He hadn't hired a realtor, because really, if he could figure out how to grow potatoes in Martian soil, he could damn well look at houses by himself.

Before he can take a look at the neighbourhood and observe the structure, he sees Lewis glaring at him out the window and he hurries inside. _Yay, baby hormones!_

When he gets inside, she's standing in the middle of the living room, staring intently at the floor.

"What's up?"

"Carpet," she replies, now frowning. "That's a shame. Hardwood floors are much easier to clean."

"What's wrong with carpet? You just vacuum it. Boom, clean."

She pointedly raises her eyebrows at him. "Really, Mark? I've seen your room at the Space House and on Hermes."

He scoffs at that. "I object."

"We're not in court."

"I don't care. I still object. I am a very clean person," he insists, turning away slightly.

"Clean, sure. Lazy? Definitely. There's no way you're going to take care of all these carpeted floors by yourself."

There's a pointed silence as Mark imagines himself vacuuming everything every week, and what the hell he'd have to do to get out food stains... When he doesn't answer, Melissa's lips slowly turn up into an amused smile. He tries not to look at her and let her know she's winning, but he can't help himself—the moment he glances at her, she laughs at his innocent expression and he breaks seconds after.

"Come on, Watney. Onto the next one."

\---

By the time they've reached house number four, he's starting to think he's just going to have to build a house himself. All of them have some defect or disadvantage ("Low ceilings, why would you even do that?" "You're an astronaut, not Liberace. You don't need marble floors or stairs."), and he can't even argue with Lewis' points.

So when they pull up to the fourth, he's already dreading to go inside, despite how nice it looks.

Melissa must've seen his crestfallen face, because she cheerfully says, "Fourth time's the charm!" before clambering out of the car.

He immediately looks at her when they walk in, and she stops at once. He has the sudden need to hold his breath, but she actually says what he's thinking. "This looks nice."

And it does. Dark hardwood floors, high ceilings, large windows. The living room area is in the same space as the kitchen and dining area, but it's actually a seating 'pit', which he thinks is genius. He can hardly believe it. Suspicion creeps into his mind.

"Someone was murdered here, right?" he asks, dreading the answer already.

"What? Why would you ask me that?"

"Because," he starts, waving his arms around the room, "there's no other reason a place like this would still be available."

Lewis rolls her eyes once more. "How about the fact that it's just gone on the market and it's probably more than a regular family can afford?"

"Okay, now that just makes me feel bad. A family could actually use this much space."

She pats his shoulder as she walks by to further inspect the rest of the house. "Hey, at least now you'll have space for when you get one."

That leaves him thinking for a moment. He never thought of himself as the fatherly or husband-y type when he was younger, and then the astronaut's programme left him pretty busy and antisocial, save for the lunatics he was forced to share a house with. And to be honest, it was easier that way. He saw how much Lewis, Vogel and Martinez all missed their spouses. Aside from his parents, Mark had never had much to lose. But now that his life's going back to (a new) normal, well...

He's not _that_ old.

Melissa is already making suggestions for how to remodel the garden and patio when her phone beeps. She sighs when she reads the message on her screen and hastily packs away her phone.

“Anything wrong?” he asks carefully. They’re sitting in the shade on two lawn chairs the previous owners probably left behind, and Mark can already sort of see himself living there.

“No,” she assures him, smiling despite her apparent exasperation, “It's just Johanssen asking me how I am.”

“Which annoys you because…?”

“Because she’s covertly checking up on me for Beck. It’s not the first time.”

Mark can’t resist chuckling at that. Who knew the flight surgeon could turn into such a mother hen? Especially when it’s Lewis who’ll claim that role in the near future. Loosening up was never his strong suit, though.

“I have an idea,” he says, grinning broadly. Melissa looks at him suspiciously, but she’s already smiling along at the mischief on his face.

“What?”

“We’re going to prank call Dr. Beck.”

The former Commander’s face lights up for a few seconds, but then she seems to waver. “We shouldn’t.”

“Oh, please, he’s not going to be mad. For long,” he insists. “Some levity for you and a reminder for Chris not to be overbearing. It’s a win-win situation.”

They look at each other for a second and his intentions seem to dawn on her. “You want to make him think I’m in labour?”

He smiles innocently and gives her a double thumbs up. “Great idea, am I right?”

“This could backfire on us very quickly,” she says, although she’s already taking out her phone to give to Mark.

“Meh, he can’t be mad at you for too long, you’re a pregnant woman. A pregnant woman under his care, no less,” he replies, literally waving away her concerns. “Johanssen will at least think it’s funny.”

“You’re calling, Watney. I’ll be the woman in labour,” she deadpans, visibly preparing herself for her role.

When the dial tone rings out, Mark clears his throat a few times and straightens his face, trying to remain serious. He picks up after two rings.

"Melissa? Everything okay?" he asks quickly.

"Chris, it's Mark. Listen, we have a little problem here, man," Watney replies, faking urgency but already feeling a grin tug at the corners of his mouth.

"I think I'm having my baby, Chris. Actually, no, I'm pretty sure," Lewis chimes in, feigning heavy breathing.

They hear a noise and stumbling on the other side of the line, and both former astronauts have to press their lips together to avoid laughing.

"Oh my God, that's a little too soon. Uh, has your water broke?" Beck asks, sounding positively alarmed.

"That's why I was pretty sure, Chris!"

She glances at Mark and then grabs a chair, tipping it to the ground so a crash rings out.

"What was that?!" Beck sounds even more agitated right now, so much so that Lewis begins to feel slightly guilty.

"Oh, that's Watney. He's just fainted," she says anyway, receiving a scandalous look from the man in question.

"What?! Can't even be useful when he's needed," comes the irritated reply.

Lewis has to physically prevent Watney from replying by grabbing him and putting her hands over his mouth.

"You just need to stay calm, Melissa. I know it's too soon and you're probably scared, but everything's going to be fine, alright?"

Chris sounds so sincere that the guilt now washes over her and tears spring to her eyes— _baby hormones_! She looks at the man she's still holding in a death grip and he sees she's caving.

"Chris, I'm sorry, it's a false alarm," she says.

"I assure you, if your water's broke, it's really not," Beck replies.

Mark sighs and speaks up. "She's right, man. I haven't fainted—which is just a ridiculous notion, Commander," he says, looking at her reproachfully. "I persuaded her into prank-calling you."

There's a minute's silence on the other end. "Are you fucking kidding me, Watney?"

"'Fraid not."

"I should come over there and kick your ass right now. This is not something to joke about, Mark."

The botanist rolls his eyes. "You're smothering Melissa, man. All those texts are just making her more nervous."

"I'm just concerned," he replies crossly. "And I can't believe you went along with him, Melissa."

"Mark's right, though, Chris. I know this is high-risk, but you have to give me some room to enjoy it, okay? Otherwise I'm just going to be thinking about what could go wrong. I trust you're on top of things, so trust me not to overdo it. I have a pretty decent amount of common sense," she says, sounding a little offended.

"Well, you blew a hole in our spaceship to go get the asshole sitting next to you right now, so that's debatable," Beck mutters, and the others scowl.

"Beck, I know you've seen an angry Commander, but an angry pregnant Commander is pretty scary, I'm telling you," Mark cuts in, noting the expression on his friend's face.

Lewis crosses her arms. "No, he's right, I guess I deserved that."

There's a moment's silence again, and then Mark is the first to speak again. "Okay. So now you've both said your piece. You're even now, right? All is forgiven?"

"Well, I forgive Melissa, but I might still punch you in the face when I see you, Watney."

"If I hide behind the Commander, you wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"I'm sorry, Chris. I just wanted to have some fun in between attempts to save Watney from homelessness," Lewis says, again managing that fine line between sincerity and lightheartedness.

"It's fine," he replies, "just find something else to prank me with next time, okay?"

"Deal," Mark says, before the woman next tot him has the chance.

"Still mad at you, Watney."

"You love me."

"I hate you."

"Whatever."

"I need to get back to work," Chris says, and they can tell he's smiling in spite of himself.

"Bye, Chris. See you soon. Sorry!" Melissa repeats before he hangs up.

Mark turns to her with a knowing look on his face. "Commander," he says, shaking his head, "I'd have expected a bit more perseverance from you."

She stares blankly at him, getting up out of the lawn chair. "I could've just gone back to Earth and left you on Mars, Watney. Don't talk to me about perseverance."

"...Touché."

\---

After that, they still have two more houses to go, even though Mark's pretty sure which one he's going to end up buying. It's only getting hotter, and the outside is slowly but surely resembling the seventh circle of Hell. He can tell Melissa's getting bothered by the heat as well, so he intends to wrap this whole thing up pretty quickly.

Luckily, the house is not his thing at all. He turns to Lewis for confirmation—who has her face scrunched up in discomfort.

"Are you okay?"

She grunts. "I'm feeling very uncomfortable. Must be the heat and the standing all day."

He guides her towards a chair and grabs a bottle of water from her bag, handing it to her. It cracks when she clasps her hand around it suddenly. "Ouch."

Mark is immediately alarmed. "Does it hurt somewhere?"

She hesitates for a second before saying, "I think I'm having contractions."

Mark's eyes widen almost comically. "Nooo," he says urgently, "Isn't it just those Hicks things I've heard Beck talking about?"

"They're not supposed to be this—ahh—painful," she says, gritting her teeth.

"Oh, God, don't tell me—"

"Watney, I'm having this baby," she declares, and her fearful tone makes him spin into action. A little headless, perhaps, but definitely into action.

"Oh, God. Alright. It's going to be okay," he says, finding himself repeating Beck's words. He points at nothing in particular. "Beck! We need Chris!"

He goes over to grab his phone and freezes. "Nooo, we just prank-called him. What if he doesn't believe me?"

Melissa is breathing hard but still manages to roll her eyes at him. "I'll make him believe you."

"What now, Watney?" Chris asks in exasperation when he picks up.

"Chris! I realize how ironic this is, but Melissa's in labour."

A sigh is heard over the phone. "Do you really think I'll fall for that?"

He glances at his friend, whose face is scrunched up in pain, and puts on his serious voice. "I swear I'm not joking around here, Beck, she's having contractions, pain, the whole shebang."

"Put me on speaker," he simply says, still not believing him.

"Melissa?"

"I need to call Robert. They're not that far apart, Chris," she says, a hint of panic in her voice that leaves no room for joking.

"Okay," they hear Beck say, "Okay. You need to get to the hospital. I need to warn people here, I'll call Robert and Beth, and I'm coming straight to you."

"You said it's too soon, Chris," she points out, "I'm scared."

Both men pause, because they've never heard her say that before.

"It's going to be fine. Perfectly healthy babies have been born much earlier, I promise," Beck says soothingly, mentally kicking himself for losing his cool earlier.

Of course Mark goes for the tension-breaking option. "Should've known that the child of our commander wouldn't wait for anyone's permission."

He counts it as a victory because she actually smiles.

\---

"Robert should be here soon," Mark says, getting off the phone with Chris once more. They're in a hospital room already, and the botanist is completely out of his depth. He knows that Lewis has a pretty high threshold for pain, but either it's the baby hormones or she's just fed up with everything, because she's reacting strongly to every contraction now.

"Breathe, Melissa," he says soothingly in an admittedly useless attempt at comforting.

The look she gives would've turned him to dust if she had the power to manipulate fire through her eyes. "What do you think I'm doing, Watney? Literally all I can do is breathe."

He visibly flinches at the volume of her voice and wishes Robert would arrive already. He knows he shouldn't, but he starts pacing anyway.

"Can you stop doing that?"

 _Must stay calm_ , he reminds himself. _She's not herself right now. Remember when you were sick from the atmosphere change? You weren't yourself then either and everyone kept their cool._

"Certainly," he says pleasantly, sitting back down beside her.

He's saved by a nurse entering the room, smiling brightly at both of them. "Hello, how are you doing today?"

"Fine," Melissa replies kindly.

Mark can't help but snort, camouflaging it as a couple of coughs when he feels eyes on him.

The nurse smiles knowingly at him. "So you're the daddy?"

He chuckles. "Definitely not."

Melissa glares at him again. He recants quickly. "I mean, no. Just an honorary uncle."

He shoots Lewis his most innocent smile. He turns around with the speed of light when the nurse goes to examine his friend. Now that he looks at it, the wallpaper here could use a serious update.

"Well," she begins after a very uncomfortable twenty seconds, "Looks like you're going to get the chance to earn your first star, Uncle." Mark froze, dread creeping up on him.

The nurse turned to Melissa again. "You're fully dilated. We're going to have to move you to the delivery room."

"Are you kidding?"

"No," Melissa says fiercely, "it's too soon!"

"There's no reason to think this baby isn't going to be perfectly healthy," the nurse assured her, but Melissa just shakes her head.

"But my husband isn't here yet. And I need my doctor. I need Chris here too, Mark," she says to him, her eyes wide and fearful.

"Look, lady, this is a very special baby–"

"Don't worry, we know all about you, Mrs. Lewis. We're fully prepared for everything."

"I need them here. I can't do this alone."

"Hey, you're not alone, Melissa. I'm here and I'm not going to leave your side until Robert gets here, okay? You're going to be fine, you're going to do great and I'll be right here. Don't you worry."

He waits for her watery smile before nodding reassuringly and grabbing her hand tightly.

He keeps holding her hand as they move through corridors and finally into a room already filled with a handful of nurses and midwives, he assumes.

Soon Melissa is flanked on every side by a bunch of women and Mark, who feels very much like the least qualified person in the room. He can only encourage his friend while everyone concentrates on her and the baby's wellbeing. Even sooner, he becomes slightly horrified as she starts to make very distressed and angry sounds.

"Come on now, Mrs. Lewis, it won't be long now," one of the nurses says calmly.

"This is much harder than I thought it would be," Lewis admits breathlessly, lying her head back for a moment's rest.

In hindsight, Mark really doesn't know what possesses him to let the next words leave his mouth. He really doesn't.

"That's what she said."

Instantly, he has all eyes in the room on him. He wants to sink into the floor at all the glares pointed at him. But then, to his utter surprise, Lewis starts laughing. The medical personnel surrounding them look at her curiously and a bit incredulously, and suddenly he feels a bit better about himself.

"Jesus, Mark, do you really think now is a good time?" she asks, still chuckling.

He shrugs, grinning as well. "Made you laugh."

She smiles fondly at him for a moment, until her face scrunches up in pain again because of another contraction.

"That was good while it lasted," he mutters, before grabbing her hand again.

Some ten minutes later, Melissa is very nearly screaming and Mark desperately wishes he were somewhere else. He cringes slightly when the OB-GYN says she's crowning and it won't be long now.

"Robert and Beck aren't here yet," Lewis says again feebly.

"I'm sorry, honey, we can't wait for them."

But just as he wishes he could actually faint, the pair of them rush through the door. Robert looks absolutely beside himself, Beck just seems as serious as ever.

"Where have you been?!" Melissa shouts at them, and Mark has to suppress a smile.

"I'm sorry, honey, I'm so sorry. I'm here now," Robert tries, and she easily forgets her anger as he grabs her other hand and fusses over her. Beck is already checking every monitor and chart there is, and the room seems more crowded than ever.

"Alright, now that Dad's here, maybe you—?"

Mark doesn't need to be asked twice. "I've done all the hard work for you, Rob, enjoy the birth of your child. Melissa, you're the best. Watney out," he says quickly, heading for the door.

Melissa calls out before he can leave. "Mark? Thank you."

He smiles at her and does a two-finger salute. "Anytime."

\---

He stumbles into the waiting room, where thankfully Martinez, Johanssen and Vogel are now waiting with Melissa and Robert's parents and his brother and sister.

"Mark," Beth says urgently, "were they in time?"

"Yeah, but it won't be long now. I, on the other hand, am fine never having to witness the miracle of birth ever again."

He drops into a chair, and Beth rolls her eyes at him. "More proof that women are the stronger sex. You can barely handle witnessing it, we have to go through it."

"Believe me, I know women are stronger and I will never deny it again."

Everyone chuckles.

"Woah, it's not like it's that bad. I've been present for all my children being born, and I was fine. And very proud of my wife, of course," Vogel says, because he's obviously an ass-kisser.

"Yeah, but you're European. You guys are tough as nails, I'm just a sensitive American."

"Was everything okay though?" Martinez asks after they've all sobered up a bit.

"She was doing great, really. I'm pretty sure they won't even need Chris."

Turns out Mark is right, but the OB-GYN lets him deliver the baby anyway. Not even fifteen minutes later, Robert comes out into the waiting room and announces the birth of their son, Wyatt Lewis. The whole group converges on him to hug, kiss or embrace him, and for a moment, Mark is reminded of the moment he first saw his crew again when he sat foot on the Hermes again. Happy moments like these remind all of them that all their troubles were worth it in the end. As soon as they're allowed in—after the proud grandparents, aunt and uncle—they pour into Melissa's room and get their share of cooing and awwing in. Wyatt has his father's hair but his mother's eyes and nose, and really, he's very cute.

Melissa soon starts to regale them with anecdotes of Mark's behaviour in the delivery room, seemingly not that bothered by the hours she just spent in pain. Then again, that doesn't really surprise them about their Commander.

He's never thought of himself as the fatherly type, but holding that little boy and looking at the rest of them—Beck and Johanssen, looking so young standing beside Martinez and Vogel, the two of them usually surrounded by kids themselves—he thinks he might've been all along.


	5. Beth Johanssen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your continued support of this story! You've brought me past 200 kudos for the first time ever and I'm so surprised and grateful. I'm definitely finishing this, sorry for the huge delay. I hope you think it was worth the wait. :)

Actually, he's sure he is the fatherly type when Johanssen announces she's pregnant a year later. Not like _that_ , obviously, what's the matter with you? She's not quite young enough to be his daughter but certainly to be a little sister, so—just—Ew, you guys.

Of course he's oblivious at first, and very confused when Beth asks him to help her look after Melissa's baby son for an evening. Chris has to work late and Mr and Mrs Lewis had desperately wanted a couple of babysitters so they could have a much-needed date night. Little Wyatt was already seven months old, after all, and an angelic-looking heartthrob at that. So he says yes and buckles up with his tiniest friend to take on an even tinier baby.

It's a nice distraction for him as well, because all the women in his life keep harrassing him about the slowgoing decorating of his new house. He passed up on the murder house in the end, because as much as he had already experienced the worst luck of his life, he didn't want to tempt fate any further. So he bought the one both he and Melissa loved instantly, and indeed, he loves living there. But yes, the decorating. His mother is the worst one of all, of course. He is perfectly fine for now with just a bed and couch for furniture, thank you. At least every room has already been painted, which took forever when Chris moved house. But anyway, he digresses. In short: he's ready for a quiet night with Beth and little Wyatt.

He really should've known better.

The Lewises obviously live in a nice house, but it's a freaking maze. Again, it's not very large or ostentatious, but lots of corridors and mezzanines and all that crap. If a one-level, all-connected living space such as a loft didn't remind him so much of the HAB, he probably would've bought a loft and be done with it. But anyway, he digresses again. This was never a problem when he simply hung out at Melissa and Robert's house, but now that he's supposed to look after their offspring, he wonders if he should've asked for a floor plan, just to be sure.

Wyatt gets about a dozen kisses from both Mom and Dad, and then the little fella is handed over to a surprisingly confident-looking Mrs Beck.

"So, should we just play with him for a few minutes and then put him to bed? It has to be nearly bedtime for him," Mark suggests, trying to recall what little knowledge he has about babies.

"That should be about it," she agrees, and leads to way to the Lewises' living room. Beth looks around and her gaze falls onto a blanket lying folded up in Wyatt's crib. She unceremoniously drops the baby into Mark's arms. He has to fiercely resist the urge to hold him like a football. That hip thing Beth was doing looked all right, so he stumbles around for a moment, trying to find a comfortable position. Wyatt coos a little grumpily, then promptly slings his tiny arms around Mark's waist.

"I have to admit, you're kinda cute, tiny Lewis," he whispers conspiratorily, and he hears Beth chuckle from where she's arranging some toys on the spread-out blanket.

"You've only just realized that now?"

"Of course not, but the little man doesn't need it to go to his head."

"He's six months old, Watney, it's not going to go to his head," she replies in amusement.

"Feet on the ground from the start, Johanssen. Feet on the ground."

Right on cue, as though Wyatt is actively protesting Mark's nonsense, he starts to cry. Mark's eyes widen in alarm and he tries bouncing the baby gently, which only seems to make him cry harder.

"What did I do?!"

Beth can't keep in a chuckle as she watches her friend freak out. "Melissa told me he wouldn't eat much earlier, he's probably just hungry, Mark. Calm down!"

He scoffed. "I don't want to be responsible for breaking Lewis' baby."

Beth gave him her favourite reaction - an eye-roll. "Babies don't break that easily, Mark. They probably have a higher tolerance for pain than you do."

"I resent that."

"Yeah, you resent a lot of things."

Mark glares at her and turns wordlessly towards the kitchen, moving Wyatt a little higher up his side.

"You're such a drama queen, Mark, you know that, right? You'll be able to play yourself in the inevitable movie about us."

"Please, I want all the actors crawling over themselves to let them play me," he replies from the kitchen. "But maybe I'd pick Sebastian Stan. I like that guy."

Beth can't help but chuckle. "Too bad Matt Damon's old now, I've always liked him."

"Matt Damon wishes he looked like me!" he exclaims forcefully. She shakes her head in exasperation and prepares for another one of Mark's rants as she goes to join him.

\--

They don't even know how it had happened, but they were staring at the aftermath, alright. Feeding a baby that's just learning to eat solid foods is no picnic. Result: most of the pureed sweet potatoes are now either on the floor, on Melissa's pristine counter or on baby Wyatt. Yes, not in. On. Apparently, even very small children like to play with their food?

"Lewis is going to kill us," Beth says calmly, like it's a well-established fact. Wyatt clings to her sweater and turns to look at Mark.

"Nah," he replies nonchalantly.

"She's going to kill us," she repeats, as they survey the aftermath. Mark scratches at his temple.

"...Yeah, probably."

Beth seems to steel herself and turns to him with purpose. "We have to divide and conquer here, Watney. We're astronauts, for Pete's sake. We need to be able to master a baby."

"You're right," Mark says, getting equally pumped, rotating his arms and stretching in a truly ridiculous fashion. Wyatt giggles. Beth can't help but grin because this kid has the cutest laugh.

"Okay, we aren't running a marathon, Forrest Gump. Here's what we'll do: since you're so bad at cleaning, I'll take that lousy task on myself."

"Hey, I--"

"Resent that?" she wonders, daring him to deny it. He huffs and stares blankly at her. "You seem to always forget I've lived with you, and then some. If you could, you'd just throw some alcohol over stuff to clean it."

"Sterile is clean!" he protests loudly. 

"Yes, in the lab, which I'll admit is always spotless. But your bunk is a mess."

"I like my personal space lived-in," Mark replies, a little defensively.

"Yeah, no kidding," Beth says as she carefully hands Wyatt over to her friend. The baby looks even smaller in Mark's arms, and zones out for a moment as she once again realizes that soon she'll have a tiny human of her own to be responsible for. Luckily, Mark doesn't notice her contemplating while making silly noises to Lewis Jr.

"You... Uh, you should go and give Wyatt a bath. Get rid of the evidence," she says, shaking off the worry as best she can. 

Mark's head snaps up with an audible crack. "What?!"

"Water. Baby. Put in," she reminds him, smirking at his alarmed expression.

"I've never done that before, Johanssen. Way to throw me under the bus!"

She chuckles. "Mark, come on. You'll be fine. You're stronger and you have bigger hands than I do. An inch of water will be plenty. You can do this."

She's surprised at how easily that all comes to her, and smiles proudly to herself as she sends Mark upstairs.

\---

"You like the water, huh, little guy?" Mark asks no one in particular, but the baby still looks up and makes an inquisitive noise. 

"Yeah, we have that in common then," he says, watching Lewis Jr. splash around. He runs his hand through the water again, making sure it's still the right temperature.  

"It's what I think I missed the most being on Mars," he starts, surprising himself as well with this sudden confession. To an infant, of all people. Or maybe that's why. 

"The only thing you could see in any direction was sand. Orange sand. And I had to be be careful with my water supply, so a bath was a luxury, my friend. Of course, after the Hab blew up, that was pretty much out of the question."

The baby starts to fuss, probably sensing his change in mood – if that is a thing. Carefully grabbing Wyatt underneath his arms, Mark lifts him out of the bathtub and onto the commode.

"And Wyatt, let me tell you, sand gets around. Your parents will find that out when they take you to the beach. It would get on the floor and in our stuff, no matter how well our suits were closed off and whether we left them in the airlock. After that blew, it was everywhere. Another fact for you, Wyatt, is that sand plus no water equals chafing. Not fun." 

Wyatt frowns, and Mark can't help but grin. "Luckily, you'll never have to experience that. You've got plenty of water around you here."

In response, the baby shakes his fist at him and treats him to a few more droplets. Mark chuckles as he wraps Wyatt in a towel. 

"So I probably won't go to the beach with you anytime soon, but I have a pool at my new house, so you can come hang out with me there anytime," he finishes, shaking his tiny hand to make a promise.

"You've never told us that," Beth says suddenly from behind him. Mark visibly jumps, and she can tell he's a little annoyed that she's there.

"How long have you been standing there?"

She doesn't blame him. 

"I'm sorry, Mark, really," she says honestly, stepping forward with a pleading expression. "It's just-- we never knew that."

She's more taken aback by his story than she wants to admit, although he can probably see it on her face. His glare softens.

"Well, I told Chris, but you know, doctor/flight-surgeon-would-be-therapist patient confidentiality," he explains, wanting her to know he hasn't kept this all to himself and suffered in silence. "I guess I just thought it was a bit trivial."

"Trivial? Mark..."

Even though he's still apprehensive about it sometimes, she can't help it; she hugs him. Wyatt lies very still, his big eyes trained on them. Mark is also very still, but she doesn't care. He needs this, whether he realises it or not. And she does, too. She hears her friend inhale and exhale slowly, relaxing a fraction, and she thinks it's a start.

"I lived," he says simply when he lets her go. "I wasn't okay but I was alive. I am alive. And it's because of you guys. It wasn't a walk in the park for you either. So all things considered, a hatred of sand didn't seem that big."

"Mark. In case that us going against NASA to get you back didn't drive it home for you, we're not just a crew. We're not even just friends. We're a goddamn family. It's the corniest thing ever but it's true. And families tell each other everything. Well, almost everything. But definitely the trivial stuff. If Martinez can go on and on about his newly acquired brunch-making skills, you can certainly tell us about your fear of sand."

"Hatred. A fear of sand would be ridiculous."

She shakes her head and smiles. "Just remember what I said."

"I will," he replies. "Thanks, Beth."

Baby Wyatt chooses that moment to get their attention again. Both adults turn to him, and then each other, and end up doing rock-paper-scissors to decide who has diaper duty.

Beth loses the battle, but this diaper thing is surprisingly easy with Mark distracting Wyatt. The key jangling and funny faces technique worked again when Beth tried to wrangle the baby into a bodice downstairs in the living room.

"You're good at this, you know." Beth tells him. "I've seen it with Vogel and Martinez' kids too."

"Maybe it's because I'm a man-child myself."

"I'm serious."

"I am too," he replies, returning her grin. "I've never taken myself too seriously, and I think kids can tell. Just like they can tell you're a calming presence."

"You think so?" she asks unsurely, Wyatt's hand gripping her thumb. He looks like he was studying her face again.

"Just look at him," Mark says, looking at her with a frown. "Beth, what's going on? You've been acting kind of weird all night."

She lets go of Wyatt for a second, turns to Mark and scoots a bit closer. Her friend looks more alarmed than ever. She smiles reassuringly.

"I'm pregnant."

Mark's eyes widen, but that's pretty much the only reaction she gets from him for a full minute, during which she watches him for signs of a stroke.

"Really?" he manages eventually.

She nods, inexplicably tearing up, happy she can finally tell him. Then he reacts, laughing loudly repeating "Wow" and "Oh my god" as he hugs her tightly. 

"Martinez is going to have a field day with this," he eventually says, beaming, and Beth grimaces a bit. Mark immediately looks suspicious, and she caves easily.

"He did," she says carefully, "You're the last to know."

"What?!"

"There's a reason!" she exclaims, before he can go full drama king on her.

"Better be a really good one, Johanssen!"

"Chris and I want you to be the godfather."

She figures this will shut him again for a few minutes, but instead he briefly pauses and then grins from ear to ear. He hugs her again after that and laughs for what feels like a while. If she hears a sharp intake of breath a few times, she ignores it. When he lets go, he's all smiles and actually punches the air. "I'm going to be The Godfather! In your face, Brando!"

She laughs at that too, because of course he was going to make a stupid _Godfather_ joke. He sits back down across from her and takes her hand. He turns serious at once. "I'm honoured, Beth, I really am."

"Good," she replies, squeezing his fingers. She remembers what she set up earlier and grins. "I'm sure your reaction will be reward enough for Chris."

"My what now?" 

She points to a vase of flowers across the room. "Chris and Melissa made me put a camera on the vase. Everyone wanted to know what you would say."

Mark sighs audibly. "You know, I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. I'm too excited. So take that, Ares crew! You all suck!" He gives the flowers the finger for good measure.

Beth laughs loudly and stands up to kiss Mark's cheek. "You'll be great. Jessica is very excited to join you on this adventure."

Mark nods in approval. Chris' sister is smart and very loyal, much like her brother. And she can swear like a sailor, so she really is an inspired choice.

"A second crew baby," he comments, "You guys aren't wasting time. That does mean a playmate for--" 

He freezes. Beth follows his gaze and gasps when she looks at the ground. The blanket is not occupied by a small and giggly baby.

"Where's Wyatt?!"

They both look around frantically and Mark just spots a pair of feet disappearing around the couch behind them. "There!" 

They run over and Beth manages to grab Lewis Jr. before he reaches a lamp or the pointy side of a wall. She strokes his head and bounces him lightly, even though he is blissfully unaware that something has happened. He grabs some of her hair and moves it around.

Watney and Johanssen share a relieved glance.

"You might want to edit that clip before you show the others."

"Yeah, let's leave the great escape out."


End file.
